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Ask Judy: Too advanced for kindergarten? |
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Dear Judy,
My daughter just started kindergarten at our zoned school in Brooklyn, which has a wonderful reputation. Last week, we attended the curriculum conference for her class, where the teacher outlined what the kids will learn this year. She told us that kids will learn their letter sounds, and learn to count. Well, our daughter is already reading chapter books, and able to add, subtract, and multiply. I e-mailed the teacher asking if we could sit down to discuss my daughter’s situation. She denied me a meeting stating, “I just think that at this point my goal is to now let your daughter’s development unfold in the classroom.” I was very distraught by this response. I have a 13-year-old stepson, and have never been denied a meeting by a teacher.
-Distraught Dad
Dear Distraught Dad,
Kindergarten teachers are usually more open to parent input than you describe, but it is early in the term. Give the teacher time; she has to learn all about the 25 eager new kids who show up every day. Heed what she said in her e-mail about letting your daughter’s development unfold in the classroom.
It’s a thoughtful comment, she is going to pay attention to your child, and your child will demonstrate her skills under her watchful eye. She is going to notice the books that your daughter brings to school, and her quick response to numbers. She is going to develop a strategy for her and for other kids in the class with advanced skills, as well as work with those who need catching up.
What if she turns out not to be the ideal teacher I just described? What if she turns out to be an inflexible person who doesn’t know how to adjust to individual kids? Make certain to attend the parent - teacher conferences next month, at most schools that will be Nov. 9 or 10, where you will be able to discuss your concerns with her.
By that time, you’ll have an idea about how your daughter is progressing and so will the teacher. If there is a problem, she most probably will have heard similar complaints from other parents. If her response is still unsatisfactory, it may be time to organize a delegation to see the principal.
But, think about the remedy you would like. Most schools don’t let kids change their classroom and hardly any “skip” kids to the next grade. But, kids who are getting bored or acting out should be challenged with extra work. Perhaps she, and others in the class on her level, can be “grouped” to do more advanced work. Perhaps they could sit in on a 1st grade class during math time, or be part of an after school math or reading club.
And of course, don’t forget the importance of play. There are numerous studies that show a relationship between play– pretend and social –and cognitive development. Maybe a remedy you should seek should include more opportunities for imaginative play. At home you can enjoy the fun of playing with your daughter while helping her continue along her fast learning track.
If this scenario sounds too pat, and your daughter is showing signs of acting out or losing interest in school, get the guidance counselor involved. Some schools have grade leaders, reading specialists, or coaches who are there to support teachers and, hopefully, to support you.
One other option: consider applying to a Gifted & Talented program for next year. The request for testing forms are online now and, if she is scores at the 90th percentile or above, she will be guaranteed a slot in a district G&T program for 1st grade, assuming you rank all the options in your district on your application. However since her current school is well-regarded, your family might prefer the convenience of attending the neighborhood school over traveling across the district for a G&T program. In that case, she might be better off, sitting tight where she is. Since she is a fast learner, she is likely to thrive anywhere!
Good luck!
Judy
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To Distraught Dad: I thought the same of my pre-kindergartner on his first day when the teacher explained that they would learn their colors, shapes and letters. I thought “he already knows all of this; he’ll be bored to tears, he should skip to kindergarten”. Seeing him thrive and interact with children his own age though made me realize he’s still a 4-year old and needs to develop as 4-year old. Sometimes it’s difficult to hear that your child is “part of the class” but it’s so much better for them in the long run. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future for him to stand out in the crown but for now, enjoy his youth.
Comment by Lea — October 13, 2009 @ 11:22 am
I have to agree with Lea. I, too, am in the same position as Distraught Dad, but after speaking with her teacher and school administrator, I have to say, the advice from Judy is appropriate. I have to realize that my daughter is still only 5 years old and this is the first opportunity she has had to interact with her peers freely, the previous two years of school (a different school) didn’t offer this interaction, it was very regimented. She is enjoying herself and the freedom to explore and this looser style of learning seems to be doing her well. Does she know alot more than her classmates, yes, she does, but she can definitely perfect her current knowledge, so some of the repitition is welcomed. Good LUck!
Comment by Me2004 — October 13, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
I remember several years ago, at a kindergarten back to school night, listening to the concerns of parents that their children be challenged enough. Finally, a young teacher spoke up and said that it’s important to realize that at least 50% of early childhood education is–or should be–about social issues and interaction, in effect, how to exist and learn to interact with others in a larger society. In the case of kindergarten, that society is a classroom.
I too had doubts about whether my child would be sufficiently challenged in the early elementary years. My fears were put to rest when I saw how skillful the kindergarten and first grade teachers were at meeting the educational needs of each child in the class, whether reading years above grade level or struggling to keep up. We also learned to wait for cues from the teacher–and I remember my child’s first grade teacher saying, after the fact, how stressful she found the first month of school each year. Of course, we were also fortunate in a public school classroom with only 22-24 children in those early years, a class size that made it possible for the teacher to meet each child’s needs. I would add, though, that later on it is much more difficult to meet the needs of students in a mixed-ability classroom. I believe strongly that testing for gifted programs should be focused on older students, grades 2 and up. It’s true that some kids are ready for gifted programs earlier–and heaven knows, especially at the district level–need an alternative to zoned schools. But I think the system is not doing justice to the many children who start to shine a little later in their school careers or whose parents, as we did, would rather keep them in general education programs–and close to home–while they’re still very young.
Comment by district 13 parent — October 14, 2009 @ 11:23 am
We were in the same position as Distraught Dad. My daughter’s teacher did differentiate instruction according to abilities, but because she was too far ahead, in most cases, it just meant doing more work than the other children. For instance, if the other children were required to write one sentence, she was required to write multiple sentences. Unfortunately, this method backfired. My daughter became resentful that she was being held to a different standard than the other children, and resisted the strongest in the areas she normally loved such as writing and reading. The only area she did not resist in was math, where she was grouped with others that were also above grade level. Overall, it was an extremely frustrating year for me, dealing with her stubborness and seeing what she was capable of doing at home, and the work she was producing in school. It was awful. Although I did not have a full understanding of what was going on at the time, I do now, and it boils down to be bored (teacher said that at times, she was “zoning out”) and feeling “different” than the other children. Doesn’t every child want to “fit in” with their peers? I know that schools frown on “skipping” kids to different grades, but that’s what should have been done in our case. She would’ve felt more comfortable in a first grade class (since she is very mature for her age) and with that curriculum, than being consistently bored and feeling like she was being treated differently than everyone else. It felt like a punishment to her. I only wish that I truly understood what happened, WHEN it was happening, but unfortunately, it was like trying to put a 1,000 piece puzzle together one piece at a time, and I only figured it out when it was too late. Thus, my reason for posting this. Keep a very close watch, and if you see anything of this happening, take action quickly! Don’t waste a whole year of your child’s life, like we did. (OK, I’m sure she did learn a little, but not like they should entering a new grade.) BTW, this year she is in 1st grade, and is much happier. When I asked her which she liked better, Kindergarten or 1st grade, she replied, “1st grade! The work isn’t way-too-easy, like it was in Kindergarten!” Didn’t that say it all?!?
Comment by WasInTheSameBoat — October 21, 2009 @ 11:35 am
I should also add that I do NOT, in any way, blame her teachers. They did all that they could do to help her progress and to further develop the skills she already had. However, we all know they are unable to teacher above their grade level, which is unfortunate when a child is already above when entering the grade. Just wanted to clarify…
Comment by WasInTheSameBoat — October 21, 2009 @ 1:03 pm