Swine flu musings
I have an overactive imagination. I also have an acute sense of impending doom that I inherited directly from my grandmother: “If you’re 5 minutes late, you’re under a bus.” This is a bad combination.
Whenever Brooks gets a fever, I need to convince myself that he doesn’t have meningitis or another type of virus that can kill within a day. I’m not crazy — I don’t ever say anything out loud and I know how statistically unlikely it is – but these nightmarish thoughts own a substantial piece of my mental real estate, and they rise up at the slightest provocation.
Can someone please advise me how to distinguish irrational fears from rational ones? After all, against all odds, planes did fly into the World Trade Center. My father’s ”flu” turned out to be a rare stomach cancer that killed him. And Brooks did get diagnosed with autism. All of these events were unexpected and unlikely, and yet, they happened. I suppose there’s a longer list of the bad things that didn’t happen, but I can’t seem to focus on that list.
So this “is-it-or-is-it-not-a-pandemic?” swine flu has me on edge. To enable myself to get out of bed in the morning, I’ve come up with a theory that, of course, has no basis in reality. The flu my family of three passed back and forth last month was actually the mild form of the swine flu, and now, we’re immune. It’s possible. Well, it’s not impossible.
But then I heard a recovered girl from Queens interviewed, and her symptoms were not our symptoms. Hmmmm.
No problem. Under the big scary what-if questions, there’s some good news. The U.S. cases seem milder than those seen in Mexico. Unlike 1918, we have anti-viral drugs and respirators. There’s a ton of good information online, notably on this website. Public officials are doing a great job keeping us posted without causing panic (excluding me, of course).
I will continue to pretend to be a grown-up about this. I will wash my hands, and I will try to teach Brooks to cough into his elbow (which will not be easy since we’re still working on “Don’t touch your feet at the dinner table”). I will be cautiously optimistic.
Here’s to hoping that this outbreak is short-lived, and that the worst the vast majority of us will have to endure locally is the NY Post’s front-pager of a pig with a thermometer in its mouth.
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> Can someone please advise me how to distinguish irrational fears from rational ones?
I’ll happily share with you the key lesson that I learned growing up with an over-worrying mother:
Worry about things that *are* happening, not things that *might* happen.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take precautions against something that might happen. But it means that you shouldn’t drive yourself crazy worrying about all the “what-ifs” in life.
Re: swine flu: Yes, wash your hands often. Yes, don’t go to Mexico. Yes, if your kid (or you) seem like you’re getting sick, go to the doctor ASAP. But no, don’t sit there and obsessively watch the news for swine flu info or work yourself into a tizzy worrying about what could happen.
Take precautions against something … and then forget about it until - no, make that IF - it happens. The more you can do this, the better you’ll sleep at night.
I guess this is easier said than done though. I give this advice to my wife all the time, but she’s still a big worrier!
Comment by DAR — April 29, 2009 @ 10:49 am
My response so far is to carry more antibacterial wipes with me…
Comment by janny226 — April 29, 2009 @ 11:19 am
All the above is good. After a lot of years of therapy, the most important thing I came away with was by taking one day at a time, and not thinking about tomorrow and all the “what if’s, there’s less stress, and surprise,surprise, sometimes there no stress. Today’s a good day, tomorrow is another day and you’ll think about tomorrow when you wake up. Aunt Mad
Comment by Anonymous — April 29, 2009 @ 4:21 pm
I don’t think there is anything wrong with worrying about things that might go wrong as long as you don’t let the fear paralyze you from living your life. I am just as worried over the swine flu. I take a bus that stops near St. Francis Prep. Today (even though school was supposed to be closed) a group of students and one of the staff was at the bus stop. They were coughing non stop. A few of them even spit on the ground. I did NOT get on the bus. Do they have swine flu? Is it irrational to think they do? Everybody deals with worry in a different way. I chose to be cautious. Others did not.
Comment by commuter — April 29, 2009 @ 4:44 pm
It is a worry, it’s like every year some deadly virus comes out from under somewhere. Did you remember the kid that died from some bug attack. Well for now we have to try and keep ourself and family swine free. From washing hands and not sitting and touching on the train or bus will be hard but we will try to stay safe.
Thanks for voicing your concern.
Comment by patricia. st.aimee — April 29, 2009 @ 11:16 pm
Marni, your blessed with a wonderful child. Carry antibacterial wipes and continue posting. We all gather strength from your posts. Your child is lucky to have a mother as involved as you!
Comment by Adam Simms — April 30, 2009 @ 7:08 am
I’ll always remember the quote from Lawrence’s yearbook way back in the mid-nineties last century: “95% of things we worry about don’t happen.”
Comment by Aunnt Rita — April 30, 2009 @ 8:04 am