Autism and Mayor Bolmbird
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Our house, like any other with a 6-year-old, has its share of “No’s.” “No shoes on the couch.” “No getting wild in the house.” “No using the word ‘stupid.’” But there is also one that is autism-household-specific: “No talking about that anymore.”
For example, Brooks will ask: “Is MOMA like the Guggenheim? It’s similar, right? Is it similar? Not the same but similar.” And when we say “Yes, it’s similar. They are both museums,” he can easily go on for an unthinkably long period of time discussing the definition of similar and all the things he knows about that are similar, and he constantly wants us to chime in to validate his understanding of the concept.
We know that this is a combination of comforting himself with predictable facts, streamlining his sometimes disorganized thoughts, and simply his age-old habit of getting stuck in repetitive patterns. So we try to thin out our diminishing patience, and we remind ourselves that even though he still does this, he does it less and less, and that eventually, he will learn to stop talking in circles.
But last week, when the prospect of switching to the L train had Brooks particularly spooked, we couldn’t take it anymore. “Daddy, it’s going to be loud. We should take a different train. What about the 7 train at 42nd Street? That’s a really good train. I think we should take the 7 train…” And on and on and on. Out of sheer desperation, we suggested he write a letter to Mayor Bloomberg asking him to make the trains quieter.
To our surprise, this quickly put an end to Brooks’s L train rant. He needed some clarification about who Mayor Bloomberg was and what he had to do with the L train, so we simply explained that he was in charge of the whole city, including the subways.
Pen and paper could not be reached soon enough, and with only a little help from us, he transformed his L train anxieties into a thoughtful and organized letter; one of his most coherent pieces of writing to date.
My husband and I were reminded at that moment that Brooks’s obsessions have a bright side. They can be turned around in an instant from dead-end cul de sacs into fast-moving thruways. All we have to do is point him in the right direction and then get out of his increasingly accomplished way.
As Brooks grows up and trades his L train passions in for more sophisticated ones, and if he can continue to channel his intensity and persistence into organized action, he will become a force to be reckoned with. Autism or not, that’s the kind of kid we’ve always wanted.
“Dear Mayor Bolmbird,
The L train makes noise.
It hurts my ears.
Make a sualtion.
Please sotp makeg the noise.”
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If this were a facebook post I would hit the Like button.
Comment by Anon — January 27, 2010 @ 11:24 am
You are such a resourceful mom–brave to raise your lovely child so creatively and brave to share your struggles with parenthood. I found it was helpful with my talkative son (once diagnosed with Aspberger’s but then diagnosed as not having Aspbergers, but that talkative about pet subjects) to give him paper and ask him to draw how he felt. That helped. It has taken him a long time to write coherently about anything, but now, age 11, with deeply caring tutoring and his dear struggle, he does write well. He worked hours and hours each night on his homework. He got so frustrated one night over the homework load that he–the boy who wouldn’t write and couldn’t write and then persisted and did write–wrote a letter to Joel Klein one night in a fit of rage. I wish that Joel Klein understood the pains it takes for kids to write at all, much less the passion that prompts them to write perhaps for the first time, and I mean WRITE for the first time, to him. I wish that Joel Klein had answered my son’s letter.
Comment by Mom who has a talker — January 27, 2010 @ 11:33 am
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story!
Ae Ja
Comment by Ae Ja — January 27, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Our children should run this city someday
Comment by Mom of a music prodigy — January 27, 2010 @ 3:35 pm
Thanks Brooks I ride the L train too and find the noise level annoying and tiresome. My train ride is a little quieter now thanks to you.
Comment by liz — January 27, 2010 @ 4:16 pm
Go Brooks! Marni you and your husband ought to run with this moment of joy :-)What a conversation piece
I love his handwriting.
My kids have yet to write a complaint letter even though I have supported it. Enjoy the proud moments and thanks as always for sharing.
Comment by Denise — January 27, 2010 @ 11:17 pm
Thank you Brooks. Thank you Marni —
Hope Mayor Bolmbird gets the message — and it is more than a message about the noise on the train.
Comment by Anonymous — January 28, 2010 @ 8:03 am
I love when you share your stories. Thankyou!
Comment by alicia — February 2, 2010 @ 9:24 pm
Thank you Brooks for sharing yor Story !
Gracias Brooks por compartir tu Historia !
Comment by Susana Bottaro — February 3, 2010 @ 8:36 am