A few weeks ago, my 5th-grade son “J” and I attended the first of two middle school fairs. Although we live in District 10 in the Bronx, my children attend elementary school in Manhattan’s District 4, which gives us twice as many middle schools through which to sift.

I entered the lunchroom hosting the District 4 fair with excitement, prepared with a mental list of “must visit” schools. As an admittedly-anxious mom and eyewitness to the things that can go wrong in middle schools, I have been researching schools on this site, and in the book NYC’s Best Public Middle Schools by Clara Hemphill and the Insideschools staff.

J had on his “I’m not talking to anyone” face and refused to ask questions at any of the tables. He asked again why he needed to be present. If it were up to him, he would rather spend the day at his beloved elementary school, Central Park East I. (more…)

It was a warm, sunny afternoon about a week into this school year. As I walked to the bus stop from the high school where I work, I recognized a former student (let’s call him Jamal) sitting on the wall of the nearby park. Jamal was engrossed in his phone, probably an AIM conversation. Although he transferred to another school last year, he returned to his old school most days to pick up his girlfriend. I greeted him and he pulled away from the furious presses of buttons just long enough to flash his dazzling smile and say hello.

Moments later, a police van pulled up in front of Jamal and a couple of other young African American boys, none of whom appeared to be together, all of them similarly absorbed by electronic devices. Although none of the boys was acting suspiciously, the officer in the front passenger seat questioned each boy as to what they were doing. It was after school hours, so they shouldn’t have been suspected of truancy.

The officer demanded to know why they were there, repeating her questions with a hard tone when the answers were apparently unsatisfactory. My bus arrived, so I reluctantly left the scene. I later learned from a colleague that Jamal had been deeply shaken by the encounter, which had reportedly escalated to the point of the officer becoming angry with him for “having an attitude”. (more…)

One day this week, my daughter brought home a book from her kindergarten class entitled “A Fine, Fine School” by Sharon Creech. It is the story of a well-meaning principal who is so proud of his fine, fine students and teachers that he decides to extend school to weekends, holidays, and the summer.

At first, though miserable, no one dared to object because it was obvious that the principal only wanted the best for his fine, fine students. After all, they were learning so much in school. Eventually, one brave girl helps the principal to see that ,although they are learning a great deal, there is much that was not being learned, such as how to climb and sit in a tree for an hour.

Last week the New York Daily News reported that President Obama proposed an increase in school hours as a means to achieving significant academic gains. The article included a quote from Education Secretary Arne Duncan suggesting that children in the US are being out-performed academically because they spend less time in the classroom. (more…)

On the first day of school this year, I delivered my son to his 5th-grade class (he quickly dismissed me with the words: “I got this”), and my daughter to her kindergarten class in her new school. She joined a group of five-year-olds with similar dazed and confused expressions.

I journeyed from my kids’ elementary school to the Harlem middle and high school campus where I work as a clinical psychologist in a school-based health center. I recognized the same dazed and confused expressions on many of the incoming 6th-graders’ faces. These former kings and queens of elementary school suddenly appeared quite young and uncertain, wandering through hallways also populated with college-bound high school seniors. As anxiety-provoking a transition as this may be for the tweens, my experience has been that it is even more so for parents. Year after year, a couple of loving and protective parents seek supportive therapy for their kids who seem to be having a hard time adjusting to middle school. Year after year, the majority of these students prove their resilience and work through the adjustment phase with minimal clinical support.

Beginning middle school is a significant and stressful transition for nearly all students. An important part of growing up is developing the skills to cope with such stressors. An additional issue for new middle school students is that, not only are they anxious about being in an unfamiliar school (as are the pre-K and kindergarten students), they are now also painfully aware that others may be evaluating them. In fact, adolescence is the time when our kids become convinced that everyone is watching and judging them because the world is their audience! (more…)

Over the past two weeks I have been struck by the overwhelming response to Insideschools’ post on banning parent-funded assistants from public schools. After reading through the numerous, impassioned comments, the old saying “crabs in a barrel” came to mind. It is a metaphor that I have heard commonly applied to African Americans over the years. It refers to the supposed tendency of one segment of the community to attempt to hold back another upward-bound individual or segment. The eventual result is that no one succeeds. It seems that once again parents are pitted against each other in a battle for the finest education.

One parent noted that the PTA-funded assistants have allowed some schools to continue to thrive where they may have otherwise faltered due to overcrowding. Another parent voiced concern that schools serving the working class are left out completely because they receive neither Title I funds, nor a wealth of money from parent donations. Still another parent commented that the average family in New York City cannot afford several hundred dollars in yearly school fees. (more…)

Donya Rhett, PhD, aka “Bronx Mom,” is a frequent commenter on The InsideSCOOP. A resident of Morris Heights, she is the parent of a 10-year-old son and an (almost) 5- year-old daughter who both attend Central Park East 1. She also surveys the New York City public school scene as a clinical psychologist working in a school-based health center at a Harlem middle/high school campus. We’re pleased to welcome her contributions to The InsideSCOOP.

“Bronx Mom” is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, I am a mom. Yes, we live in the Bronx. And yet, I often feel very disconnected from my Morris Heights neighborhood because my children have only attended Harlem schools.

I tried to make an “educational home” in the Bronx six years ago when I first began searching for kindergarten for my son. Sadly, there were few choices in my district (10) that were accessible to us and would also be a good fit for my bright, very active child. Given the beliefs of some that families should stick with their zoned school, I thought I might shed some light as to why I, self-titled Bronx Mom, crossed district lines in search of the best fit. (more…)