May is one of those poignant and bittersweet months for 5th-grade parents, who are in the early stages of the difficult and lifelong parenting process called Letting Go.
The changes are small now. Ten and 11-year-olds may be more reluctant to hold hands with their parents, especially in public. They may covet teen trappings -- cell phones, instant messaging, or even video chats.
Parents sense that long-established elementary school relationships and habits are about to change, so naturally there is some anxiety about the future. And once again this year, that anxiety is compounded by the Department of Education’s failure to send out timely middle school notifications.
So while parents and teachers are busy planning yearbooks, end-of year concerts, and elementary school graduation ceremonies, they are still coming home to empty mailboxes. They still cannot tell their children where they will be going to school next year. And that is not okay.
Last year at this time, I had to comfort my now 6th-grader that news would be arriving soon, and that he’d be fine wherever he ended up. Yet like many parents around me, I couldn’t quite calm my own jumpy feelings every time I searched the mail. I hated not knowing.
The DOE vowed to fix the process this year, but without any specific reason, they have pushed back the date for notification again. Parents who are trying to figure out if they have to move – or forfeit deposits to private school – are particularly annoyed, as comments this week on Insideschools have shown. Given that the supply of top-notch middle schools citywide nowhere near meets the demand for them, it’s understandable that parents want some answers.
The last few weeks of elementary school should be filled with sweet reminders of the beautiful and elusive nature of childhood. After all the bewildering touring, ranking, and interviewing the students did last fall to find a middle school, they deserve timely answers – and so do their parents.
Please post comments