Dear Judy,

The December holidays are approaching, and I am wondering how to broach the topic of other religious celebrations to our son. He has already come home from school talking excitedly about an upcoming Kwanzaa parade and chatting away about Santa Claus. While I think it's great that my young son is being exposed to other cultures in his public school, how can I be sure that the school will know where to draw the line? What are the guidelines about holiday celebrations in school? In this day and age, where it seems Christmas is everywhere, how can I make sure to help him distinguish between our family's traditions and those that others celebrate?

Thanks very much,

Menorah mom

Dear MM,

For years, parents in a multi-cultural city like NYC have been facing the "December Dilemma"—the desire to maintain personal practices and traditions in a context of competing holidays and symbols. New York City families celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Eid al-Adha (which sometimes falls in December), the winter solstice, Kwanzaa and more. And some do not recognize any religion.

Of course, parents have the responsibility of teaching their own beliefs and principles to their kids but schools have long been the locus of this dilemma, because that is where kids encounter competing cultures. The subject has been deliberated in lower courts across the land, yet there is no definitive Supreme Court ruling. However there are guidelines, weighing in on the side of keeping in-school holiday celebrations secular, and inclusive. You can find a summary of guidelines and court opinions about appropriate practice, endorsed by 17 educational and religious organizations, at First Amendment Center.

More to the point of your own concerns, a recent "reminder" (below) to principals from the Department of Education, does set boundaries on holiday displays and appropriate celebrations. The key is to help your school maintain an atmosphere of mutual understanding and respect for the diversity of the city, even if your own school does not have a widely diverse student body.

Reminder about Guidelines for _ Holiday Displays All schools New York City is a diverse multi-cultural community. It is our responsibility as educators to foster racial, ethnic, and cultural heritage. Therefore, we must be cognizant of and sensitive to the special significance of seasonal observances and religious holidays. At the same time, we must be mindful that the Constitution prohibits a school system from endorsing or promoting a particular religion or belief system._With that in mind, please remember these guidelines with respect to the display of cultural and holiday symbols:

  • The display of holiday symbol decorations with secular dimensions is permitted. Displays that depict images of deities, other religious figures, or religious texts are prohibited. Permitted symbols include, but are not limited to, Christmas trees, kinaras, dreidels, Menorahs, and the Star and Crescent.

  • Holiday displays must not appear to promote or celebrate any single religion or holiday. Therefore, any permitted symbol or decoration must be displayed simultaneously with other symbols or decorations reflecting different beliefs or customs.

  • All holiday displays should be temporary in nature.

  • The primary purpose of all displays should be to promote the goal of fostering understanding and respect for the rights of all individuals regarding their beliefs, values, and customs.

    • If you find a glaring breach of this policy, take it up with the appropriate school staff and parent committees. Contacting the Office of Mandated Responsibilities, Room 218 at 52 Chambers Street, 212-374-6095 is the next step.NYC schools' policies about accommodating students' religions in respect to released time for religious instruction and days off for celebrating holidays, are outlined in Chancellor's Regulation A-630.Meanwhile. enjoy the school holiday parties, plays, and songs. December is fun—no matter how you celebrate.

    Judy

    P.S.  Also puzzled about holiday gift giving to teachers?  Check out an Ask Judy on that subject.