I have an 8 year old daughter who is in the top class; however the teacher told me that she is not interested in reading, writing and math, and is only interested in being social with the other children. She suggested I give her incentives. Can you give me some ideas to motivate my child to like reading, math and writing?

Puzzled Mom

Dear Puzzled Mom,

Do you know why she lost interest in her studies? Is she concentrating on friendships because she feels insecure and has to work hard to make and keep friends? Does she have a chance to see her friends after school or on weekends? You can help boost her self confidence by arranging playdates with friends. Is the work too difficult? If so, ask the teacher to schedule extra help or tutoring for her. Or, is she bored because the work is dull? If that's the case, here are some ideas on how to keep her interested.

Introduce her to fun series books such as Ramona by Beverly Cleary, Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgrin, Encyclopedia Brown by Donald Sobol, or Magic Treehouse by Mary Pope Osborne. Good books are great motivators. Teachers may see these books as too easy, but they usually have kids clamoring for more. Once she is hooked on a series, the next title could be a reward for reading what the teacher assigns. Tapes and movies of these books in combination with the published versions make stories come alive. Take the time to read, watch, or listen with her. You can find plenty of other appealing books at the public library. Ask a librarian to help find those that are geared to her interests.

Encourage your daughter to write to grandparents , aunts and uncles, or neighbors who all welcome mail from kids. She can start with e-mail, and if she gets a correspondence going, she can move on to cards for special occasions and then longer letters. Writing in a diary is also fun, made even more appealing if you give her a special notebook with a pretty cover. She can write privately after she does the required school journal writing. Or, you and your daughter can read poetry and write poems together. Your participation is really important!

If you or other family members are good at math, share fun problems and puzzles. Some kids like to do arithmetic in workbooks at home. Others respond to just fooling around with a calculator or using it to solve problems that come up in shopping, like figuring out which box of raisins is the best buy or making change.

With the teacher's cooperation, (she'll report to you the good behavior days) your daughter can have a notebook full of stickers - one for each time she pays attention in school and does her homework willingly. When the agreed upon number is reached, you'll reward her with something you both agree upon: Some small change? A toy she's been yearning for? A special treat?

And, if you'd like to hear an expert speak on the topic of motivation, consider going to a talk by Rick Lavoie, author of "The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turning on the Tuned-Out Child". He will be speaking in Brooklyn on Feb. 11. See our calendar for details about this free event..

Good luck and have fun.

Judy