Q: My son is a junior and I thought that later this spring, and over the summer, we'd start driving to see some college campuses. Now he is saying, why bother, no one gets in anyway. He is friends with a number of seniors, and some of them have already gotten rejection letters from colleges. Their disappointment is affecting him and making him think very negatively. How do I build up his interest?

A: You can't prevent your son from hearing negative information from some of his friends, but you also need to get him to hear the positive as well. He needs to see the big picture, and the big picture shows us that pretty much every high school student who takes academics seriously and plans his/her college applications carefully will indeed get in. They may not get into their #1 choice, but they will find a college, in many cases more than one, which will accept them.

Of course, if your son's friends are talking about Ivy League schools, where the acceptance rate is usually less than 10%, most applicants are going to be disappointed. But freshman places at Ivy league institutions account for a very small percentage of freshman places nationally. The vast majority of admissions decisions for this year's seniors have yet to be made. I am confident that by the end of this academic year, all of your son's friends will have been accepted to colleges where they will be happy.<!--more-->

In the meantime, you and your son can do several things to help keep that big picture in focus. Ask the college guidance counselor at your son's school for a list of the colleges and universities where last year's graduates are attending. Pick a few of these schools which are close by, in the NYC metro area, upstate, in New England, New Jersey, or Pennsylvania. See if you can obtain the e-mail addresses of recent graduates of your son's high school who are currently attending (the high school can contact them to see if they are OK with this). When you visit your son could meet with them on campus. If he sees actual students who had similar high school experience to his own, who went through the process, and who are now pleased with where they are, he'll get a tremendous amount of positive reinforcement.

In a recent column I mentioned Wagner College on Staten Island as a "hidden gem." There are many colleges like that -- really interesting places, both public and private, that have so much to offer students in terms of both learning and living environments. They just don't get as much press as some more well-known schools. You and your son have to get out there and discover them! Your son might also looking at these books: "Cool Colleges," "Colleges That Change Lives," "Harvard Schmarvard," and "Looking Beyond the Ivy League".

This "no one gets in" business is nonsense! Naturally, some of his friends who applied early and were not successful are going to be upset right now. But he -- and they -- need to look at the large numbers of college students who are flourishing. Drag your son to see some colleges -- ones that typically accept many more than 10% of their applicant pool! Once he sees these campuses, and learns some more encouraging admissions statistics, and speaks with people who are thriving at wonderful (though perhaps not headline-making) schools, his interest ought to be renewed!