A little-noted irony of the DOE's many student incentives, the cell phones meant to reward middle schoolers -- the ad campaign just won a prizein chic Cannes, France -- are still 100% prohibited on school premises, by DOE regulation.

So, figure this: Give the kids a phone, but ban its use. Or, alternatively, teach kids that what you say -- No Phones! -- is far from what you do: Are you a good student? Here's a phone, and you can 'earn' minutes, too.

No wonder kids say middle school is confusing.