Q: My daughter is going to be a high school senior this fall. School hasn’t even started yet, and she is already stressed about college applications, re-taking the SAT, writing her essay, and all the rest of it. She is just one step below panic. How can I help her?

A: In June, summer stretches before us like a huge, inviting lake. We laze around in a little canoe and before we know it, we’ve drifted nearly to the other shore. All of a sudden, it’s the end of August and there’s no time left! Your daughter isn’t the only one in this dilemma, but there is a way to calm her and help her face the challenging months ahead. It’s called planning.

If your daughter sees at a glance everything she needs to do – but in an organized, one-step-at-a-time fashion – she’ll be on her way to conquering the problem. First, she needs to write down all important dates, such as for the SAT and when applications are due. But she should not merely do this in a pocket planner. These planners stay closed most of the time. She should write things on a calendar she can post on her bulletin board or wall. She can use different color inks for different categories (e.g. red for college-related items, purple for class assignments).

The next thing she should do is plan now to do certain things within the next few weeks. This will give her a sense of control. Of course, she cannot know at this time when course projects will be due. But when school starts, she can approach two teachers to ask them about writing letters of recommendation (never ask teachers at the last minute!). She can prepare a first draft of her essay to show her English teacher. She can make an appointment to see her college counselor, to go over her college list. If she doesn't have a list, she can start to make one.

Being proactive about what lies ahead will give your daughter a sense of control. Making a calendar will help her see that not everything will crash down on her at once – in fact, if she goes step-by-step, nothing should crash at all. You can help by being supportive, but leave the calendar-making to her – she has to work on this by herself to grasp the manageability of the process.