A few weeks ago, the PS  29 community suffered the loss of a great friend when the school's beloved cook, Richard Worrell, died suddenly. Richard was a favorite among the kids, one of those faces kids never forget, even after graduating from the school. Likewise, he remembered everyone's name -- those of all the children as well as many parents and younger siblings. When PS 29 adopted the Garden to School Cafe program, he hopped aboard, preparing a wildly popular pesto made from the garden's basil. Richard took his job of feeding the kids to a whole new level, often circulating the cafeteria during lunch to make sure no child walked away hungry.

The school handled the tragedy with sensitivity, the principal relaying the news to parents via e-mail, and personnel visiting all the classrooms to let the children know in as delicate a manner as possible. That afternoon, I picked my daughter from school and she informed me, as though breaking it to me gently, "Mommy, I have some sad news...Richard died." We were walking with some of her friends, and the kindergartners related snippets of the scene that had taken place. Some of their classmates had cried, other friends seemed unfazed; I was proud when she told me of how she had brought her bereaved friend a tissue.

In general, students in older grades seemed harder hit, since they had known Richard for longer and have a deeper grasp on the finality of death. By week's end, the cafeteria was papered in cards and pictures, portraits of Richard with messages such as "Richard, if you read this in heaven we all at PS 29 miss you very much." A lovely tribute to Richard appeared in the New York Times City Room blog, and many of the comments are from PS 29 students.

Last Friday, students, staff and parents gathered around the garden to pay tribute to Richard. They read poems they had written, harvested basil to make pesto, and wrapped up by playing "Empire State of Mind," Richard's favorite song, on the loudspeaker; many of the kids sang along. The garden was renamed in Richard's honor– for his involvement there and for all he did to nourish the growing children. As for my daughter, she seems to have moved on quickly. Without prodding too much, I tried to talk to her about it, but after that first day she appeared to have forgotten, in spite of her fondness for Richard– other parents have told me of similar reactions from their kindergartners. I feel a bit sad she could forget a friend so easily, but I'm also grateful for this protective way nature has of shielding the youngest kids from some of the grief and uncertainty in life.

Has your school community ever been shaken by a loss? How did you handle it with your children?