Elementary Dad: Manger meets menorah
“Are we Jewish or are we Christian?” my kindergartner asked the other day. The question was sparked by classroom discussion about the various holidays celebrated in our Upper West Side neighborhood. Hanukkah was getting a lot of attention, Jewish kids were talking about eight nights of presents, and my daughter was curious why she wasn’t getting a cut of the action. Judaism suddenly held strong appeal.
I informed my daughter we’re Christian, and I reassured her that a bountiful Christmas was on its merry way. But if your child has to ask what religion she practices, then she probably needs more practice. I’m a religious skeptic, so my little girl has been inside a church only a handful of times, yet I’m glad our public school stepped in to address an important topic that apparently isn’t getting enough attention in our home.
Not everyone would agree. Debate about the existence of God and the proper role of religion in public schools seems as much a part of our holiday tradition as fruitcake and fake snow. This year, Lincoln Tunnel commuters see competing Christmas billboards: “You KNOW it’s a myth” on the Jersey side (paid for by American Atheists) and “You Know it’s Real” in Manhattan (courtesy of the Catholic League). In Iowa, a principal is under fire for removing a Christmas tree from his high school's cafeteria following a few complaints.
New York wisely doesn’t ban discussion of religious holidays in schools, but it does have guidelines. They boil down to: Discuss but don’t endorse. Talk about lots of religions, not just one. Some stuff is OK (Christmas trees, menorahs) but some stuff isn’t (images of deities or religious texts). Above all, work to foster understanding and respect for everyone’s particular beliefs. I don’t envy the teachers who must tiptoe through a multi-cultural minefield to reach that promised land where young minds understand historical events that have religious undertones. It’s much easier to teach 5-year-olds to cut out snowflakes than to help them comprehend divine miracles.
Fortunately, my daughter has a wonderful teacher who does not shrink from a challenge. Her classroom contains books like Sammy Spider’s First Hanukkah (one in a delightful series by Sylvia A. Rouss), and a holiday party is planned for Dec. 23. Best of all, the spirit of the season has spread from the public school to our home. I want my daughter to realize Christmas means more than just presents, so I have set aside my skepticism and begun telling her the Nativity story – Mary, manger, star, angels, the whole bit. In the end, her classroom journey into comparative religions did what a good lesson is supposed to do: brew up ideas within a young mind and make her curious about her world. I’m glad I was around for the follow-up questions.
And when she asked, “Do we celebrate Kwanzaa?” I gave the short answer: “No.” Nothing against that holiday, but by now I’ve learned she’s just hoping to get more gifts.
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