If trend-watchers are correct, today’s girls will feel the cruel sting of social bullying at a younger age and with more lasting damage than girls of their mothers’ generation. I want to shield my daughter against this gathering Mean Girl storm of rejection, snarky gossip and social ostracism. So she and I play Old Maid.

The logic goes like this: Card games involve groups, strategy, winners and losers — many of the same factors involved in social relationships. Learning to obey rules, to play wisely, and to win and lose gracefully can help children master some of the social skills they will need to successfully navigate a schoolyard dotted with backstabbing enemies and two-faced friends.

This strategy is found in the book Little Girls Can Be Mean and others like it. I interviewedLittle Girls co-author Dr. Michelle Anthony last year when I worked for the New York Post. Many school districts have anti-bullying campaigns (like New York's Respect For All initiative, which several anti-discrimination groups recently criticized as ineffective), but they largely target physical violence and pranks (often boy vs. boy). Anthony believes such campaigns overlook a more complex and crippling pain that occurs as young girls stumble their way toward higher social status, often leaving victims in their wake.

“With boys, a lot of times, when you’re being bullied physically by someone, this person is not your friend. At all. And you know it, and you’re afraid of them, and you try to avoid them,” Anthony told me. “But with girls, more often it actually is your best friend. And you are sitting next to her in math class. And she does do wonderful things for you. So to just walk away leaves you socially isolated. And that’s a very different experience to have.”<!--more-->

Anthony describes ways parents can respond when daughters come home in tears because they have been a victim of gossip or betrayal, and these bandages seem helpful. I want to help my child avoid such emotional wounds in the first place, but here social scientists offer few tips for what most say is an inevitable part of growing up. Developing social skills through Old Maid is about the best you can do. So I shuffle and deal — and watch a 5-year-old mind begin to grasp strategic nuances that stretch beyond a card game.

“When I have the Old Maid, I hold it out in front so it looks special and people will take it,” my daughter told me during one of our early games. (Lesson One: Bait your opponent.) I said that’s a good plan — so long as you don’t tell others what you’re doing. (Lesson Two: If you’re going to be sneaky, be quiet about it.)

Since then, her skill set has expanded. Playing last week, she held out her final two cards, one noticeably front and center. I reached behind it, sidestepping her bait. (Lesson Three: Friends won’t let you win all the time.) I was surprised to find I’d fallen for a bluff and picked the Old Maid. (Lesson Four: Uh, something from The Art of War about varying your tactics and feigning inferiority, I guess.) A wicked smile crossed her innocent face.

Congratulations, kid. The schoolyard can be a rough place for little girls, but I think you’re going to be OK.