After the events of Jan. 12, I plan to submit the following rough outline to the Metropolitan Opera. The proposed production is titled “Snow Day: A Tragedy.”

Scene 1 opens in a New York home on a winter’s evening. [Note to self: Is “Nutcracker” set still being used?] Four elementary-age children dance about excitedly while their anxious parents watch the WABC-TV weather report. [Production suggestion: Mezzo-soprano Janet Hopkins would be good in the role of Heidi Jones.] The forecaster opens with the aria “Eight to Twelve Inches Expected,” which concludes with the line, “For children, there is no day / like a school-less snow day.”

Switching off the TV, the parents ready their children for bed. Each kid grabs a spoon to place under a pillow and a cup of ice to flush down the toilet. Then each puts on pajamas, taking care to make sure they are backward. All this occurs during the children’s falsetto rendition of “Gonna Make It Happen.” [Note to self: What rhymes with “pajamas”? Can think of only panoramas, Alabamas and Dalai Lamas.]<!--more-->

The parents close the door to the children’s bedroom. Mother sings “Will I Ever Get to Yoga Class?” (“Weather gods, take notice / I’m overdue for lotus”) followed by Father singing “Nanny Overtime” (“No man can laugh / paying time-and-a-half”). Act 1 ends as the first snowflakes begin to fall, sending Mother and Father into fits of wailing and lamentation.

Act 2, Scene 1 opens on the next morning. Snow drifts coat the windowsills. Mother and Father wearily rise from bed. Mother opens her Droid to check the Department of Education Web site. Father switches the radio from NPR to 1010 WINS. We hear the pearly voice of a radio announcer sing, “There will be school indeed / the mayor has decreed.” The delirious parents break into song. [Question: Is “Ode to Joy” still under license? If so, how much for the rights?]

The parents’ joyous singing wakes the children, who see the frosted windows and rush for their snow toys. Father stops them with “Put Down That Sled” (“Don’t be a sad sack / Go get your backpack”). The children wail and cry in “Life Is Unfair” (“We’ll have no sledding hills or snowmen / This tragedy is Greco-Roman”).

The scene changes to reveal a room in City Hall. The Mayor [Nathan Gunn, of course] bids The Black Queen [I picture Erika Miklosa in her costume from “Magic Flute”] to put down her copy of Cosmopolitan and pay attention. Mayor breaks into “Plow Ahead” (“My decision is not cruel / Our kids are better off in school”). The Black Queen counters with “Wandering Around” (“Who could put up with such hullabaloo: / One million children with nothing to do”). The scene ends with the arrival of The Black Queen’s princess daughters, who announce their private school is closed because of snow.

City Hall melts away to reveal a climactic scene showing hundreds of dejected children trudging amid deep drifts through their snowy schoolyard. [Julie Taymor could stage this nicely. Has “Spider-Man” closed yet?] In the finale, a chorus of wailing kids, smiling parents, shivering nannies, exhausted teachers and shovel-wielding custodians rise to a crescendo. [Lyrics still to be written – something “We Shall Overcome”-ish.] Cue curtain.