"THAT'S IT!" It was the final straw, or rather, the final Skittle.

I stood frozen in front of the principal's white board—it's the first thing you see when you arrive at my son's elementary school.

The principal writes an inspiring message on it every day. A point of etiquette. A new vocabulary word. Or something sweet and simple like welcome back from a vacation or a cheery observation about the weather. All the kids read it. The parents, too. Today, this was the message:

We will be going to go around with a jar of treats, the class which estimates closest to the correct number wins the jar!!!

What are we talking about here? Hundreds of treats? Thousands? I can't take it anymore. My son's school has been co-opted by Willy Wonka.

It started at the beginning of the school year. It's one of those things, one of those slow, insidious things, like global warming, that you don't notice until it's too late. In the month of October, there was a class cookie decorating party, an orgy of icing, Skittles, M&M's and Reese's pieces. This was two days before Halloween where the school fair offered up orange and black donuts, cupcakes and enough candy corn to make your teeth ache.

November. No candy-driven holidays, but there are birthdays. That means cupcakes.

December. What happened to gingerbread? Another cookie decorating party. Red and green replace orange and black. These cookies are weighted down so heavily with candy they collapse like overloaded pack animals. And just in case they haven't received enough calories or sugar the children are sent home with bags of candy from the teacher's aides.

January passes, mercifully, without a heavy dose of sweets. But the birthdays keep coming, the stream of cupcakes and candy and juice never lets up.

February. Paper hearts – pshaw. Not when you can get a giant heart-shaped sweet tart and straws full of flavored sugar! Nothing says love between six year olds like a pack of Smarties!

And in between, there are bake sales (since when are M&M Rice Krispie cakes baked goods?) and, of course, the month is shot through with birthday parties, like every month.

March. The white board. How many jelly beans are inside the jar?

The pre-K class...they can't read or write, but they can estimate. They win all the marbles. All the jelly beans, that is.

If my son's school wants to give the kids a treat, why not give them some extra time on the playground instead of a lollipop? I can't change the minds of parents who see no harm in all of the above, but I would like for the school to be on my side and the side of the children, by not allowing this liberal handing out of sweets and candy. If not, perhapsthey should change their school logo to a Dunkin Donut.