After his bruising first week of high school, I found my exhausted freshman son lying in a heap of books and papers, soccer cleats and uniform still on, furry cat purring next to him. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that it would be a little while still before I have to worry about what time he’s coming home at night, where he is, and what his curfew would be.

But it’s coming. Parents of freshmen, who have endured an exhausting admissions season, may be taken aback by a new demand to go out on weekends and stay out ever later.

The new world of high school social life requires careful navigation for parents. Kids want to fit in, and for some, it’s the first time they develop a whole new life outside of the family and familiar friends. Because of high school choice, their friends may live in all five boroughs, making for some daunting transportation obstacles, late night commutes and a lot of sleepovers.

Along with a longer day and a lot more homework, get ready to think about the archaic thing known as a curfew. Expect lots of late night miscommunications, along with arguments for more time, detailed description of subway troubles and out-of-battery cell phones.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself wide awake past 1 a.m., cell phone in hand, wondering if it’s time to organize a search party for your missing teenager.

Because I’ve been down this road before with my older son, I can say one thing with certainty: you are likely to hear the argument that absolutely no else one has a curfew. If they do, it appears to be something like 1 a.m. or even later by the time junior year rolls around.

And apparently, there are no other parents who want to know if any grown-ups will be home for the party or if they approve a sleepover.

What’s a parent to do? In the suburbs where I grew up, there wasn’t a whole lot going on most weekends. You could hang out at the beach, the home of friends or the local McDonalds. Until you got your license, you had to rely on getting a ride from your parents. There were no cell phones.

I don’t necessarily envy suburban parents, whose kids are eager to get licenses and establish their independence. They have to worry about drinking and driving, and their lives can be equally daunting. Whenever I complain about all that city parents must go through, my friend who lives in coastal New England reminds me that school choice is so complicated in her area that her children attend three schools in three different states – Maine, New Hampshire and Massachusetts. I don’t even want to think about their social lives.

City kids have a lot more transportation options if they want to see their friends, and a whole more to do, from movies to concerts and museums. But they can also disappear at night into the subway where they can’t be reached. And just watch the reaction when you ask for the phone number of the parents to make sure they are home at the alleged party.

>I'd  like to veer away from high school admissions for a moment and ask parents to swap advice on setting curfews.

What’s the appropriate curfew for freshmen, sophomores and juniors? What kind of luck have any parents had negotiating the social life that comes with high school? Please share your wisdom and advice to share?