There are many reasons why high school choice in New York City is so fraught and frightening for parents. In a city where parenting can resemble a competitive sport, important questions abound. But as our children age, we learn that these questions are only the beginning.

Concerns from parents who must decide on a specialized high school or other placement for their child have dominated conversation on Insideschools and in countless households. Class size, academic quality, commute time, and advanced placement offerings are all being weighed, along with the role of sports and arts.

Other pressing questions are close behind, because the inevitable and lifelong separation process is dramatically stepped up when your child enters high school. For example, what happens four years later? What percent of students graduate on time (in a city where half don’t) and how well prepared will graduates be for college? What is the quality of college counseling in city high schools, and how do college admissions officers regard graduates of say, Bronx Science vs. Eleanor Roosevelt?  Just how much should college concerns weigh upon what happens after 8th grade?

Those who have survived the intensity of New York City school admissions all the way to high school may feel like grizzled veterans when it comes time to pick a college. Still, it’s a shock to the system to consider our unformed adolescents as young adults who will, if all goes well, be out the door and making their own decisions before long.

Assumptions we make while dragging our 12 and 13-year-olds on school tours may be struck down as their interests and abilities change. I’ve always found one of the oddest and most difficult parts of school choice in New York City, starting with pre-kindergarten, can be making choices based on what I imagine my child will be like a full year later.<!--more-->

As my older son makes his way through his freshman year in high school, I am surprised, suddenly, by how little of his childhood is left. A countdown confronts me with every inch taller than me that he grows, with every stuffed animal lurking in a closet or baby picture I might stumble upon.  The sentimental moments at times obscure what must come next: SAT exams, transcripts, the proper sequence of courses.

The four-year countdown is now three-and-a half.  The job, if done well, means throwing our kids out the door after senior year and, if all goes well, to a college that suits their needs and abilities – and hopefully, our budgets.

Insideschools would like all of you admissions veterans to share your wisdom on how well our city high schools are preparing our kids for college. Are enough high-quality schools visiting and reaching out to students? How did admissions officers view the offerings? If a school lacked sufficient advanced placement courses, was it an obstacle?

Students, please weigh in as well. What should parents consider when looking at brand new or charter schools with scant or little track records?

Let the four-year countdown begin.