My twelve-year-old has been asking one too many questions lately about high school admissions, even as I’ve tried to shield him from all discussions and preserve whatever innocence might possibly be left of his childhood.

This week's  seventh-grade state math tests prompted a new wave of anxiety.

Already, he's watched his brother go through rounds of tests, tryouts, portfolio preparation, and interviews last year that are part of life -- and school choice -- in New York City.

He’s seen older classmates sobbing in the hallways of his middle school when they were inexplicably rejected by their top choices. He’s internalized the worries of teachers who emphasize the importance of the state exams. On top of all that, he may have heard me casually mention attending high school information sessions the Department of Education is hosting for middle school students and families this month.

As a result, he has a lot of questions.<!--more-->

“So just how much do the seventh-grade tests matter?’’ he’s asked me repeatedly. “If I don’t do really well, could I be shut out of high school?”

I have tried to avoid this discussion, changing the subject to say, the opening of a new skate park or Iron Man 2. The pressure dogs him nonetheless, and I don’t know a good answer.

Once again this year, close to 7,000 students were not offered spots in the first round of high school admissions. And once again, judging from media coverage and from the comments on Insideschools.org, those left out included many fine students with excellent grades and test scores.

So there is no guarantee that getting top scores on the seventh-grade state exams will smooth a rocky and unpredictable admissions process.

Just how much do the tests matter? It's not always clear how schools and the Department of Education make decisions about who gets into high schools and how much weight exams get vs, say, grades or portfolios. I wish I had  better answers, and some ways to ease all this pressure.

Shouldn't the emphasis be on the excitement of learning? How can we shift the conversation...and ease the pressure for our seventh-graders, who this week wrap up their state standardized exams.