When I was a kid in elementary school, I dreaded lunchtime when a nasty girl in my class would relentlessly make fun of my hand-me-down clothes, tell your-mom’s-so-ugly jokes, and threaten bodily harm. I looked forward to middle school to escape, but my tormentor followed me there. What was worse, my middle school was overrun with even bigger bullies and administration had their hands full. So I did what most smart geeks did, hang out with my teacher during lunch—and try to be the first one out the door when the bell rang.

Eventually, I did stand up for myself, and my bully simply said, “It’s about time,” and left me alone. I only wish it were quite that simple for young people who face cyberbullying today.

The lives of our teens are wrapped up in technology. If they aren’t texting or IM’ing they are posting on Facebook or Twitter. All of their friends, family, future colleges and employers—and bullies and worse-- have access to these comments and photos. There is no place for them to escape. Just as a Hollywood tabloid can destroy a career or marriage, a bad hit in cyberspace can make recovery seem impossible.

In my childhood, I could retreat to the safety of home and my family. Today if a lie, rumor or half-truth is spread in this arena, it touches every area of life. Hundreds of people become aware within minutes. In the mind of a youth who is bullied online, there is no hope. A series of self-hate messages repeat in their minds and emotions at lightning speed. The response could be anything from increased aggression to isolation, from cutting to hurling yourself in front of a bus—as a young woman in Staten Island did recently.

It's time to go beyond shaking our heads and thinking "so sad." We need to protect our kids from themselves and others. We need to take cyberbullying seriously.

My daughter's school offered a workshop with good ideas on how to stop cyberbullying. I learned that cyberbullying is a misdemeanor that could get you a year in prison. This includes text bullying (which can be easily tracked), and sexting is considered child pornography. Cyberbullying is against the law. There's a useful website: http://www.cyberbullying.us/

Here are other points I picked up at the workshop:

  • Look for warning signs in your children's behavior toward their phone or Internet, such as withdrawal or nervous responses.
  • Take protective measures such as selecting ’log off’ when done with the account, even when leaving computer for a short time.
  • Don’t share passwords with friends or siblings.

If you suspect that your child may be a bully, track their Facebook page and have firm consequences:

  • Take away phone privileges and computer time. (If you are paying for the phone and Internet you have the power to say "no.")
  • Disable Facebook.
  • Pull them off of the sports team or special club activity.
  • Be a "friend" on your teen's account.
  • Ask for passwords. (It's hard because they think you don't trust them. Try to make it clear that it is for their protection and that they need to trust you).

If we all stand up for our children, cyberbullies will have to stop and back off. It’s about time we do.