It’s a familiar scene by now. Leia, age 4, catches sight of me at pre-K pick-up and shouts “Mommeeeee!” as she bounds toward the doorway where I’m standing. She almost knocks me over with her flying hug, and we make our cheery exit from the building. But then at some point during the next 15 minutes, things turn sour. Whether it’s a sit-in mid-sidewalk, while walking to pick up Leia’s sister Night Owl from school, or a full-force meltdown over what flavors the ice cream shop has to offer, at times I feel teleported back to the terrible twos.

I can’t blame her, really. Although she’s grown so much in the past year and is capable of greater reasoning and self-control now, Leia is still a little kid getting used to a big kid’s schedule. A generation ago, at least where I grew up, such a long day was unheard of for 4-year-olds (and a few children entering pre-K are still 3). Some parents I know have struggled with the notion of putting their children, so young, into such a full-time program at all. And, although Leia comes home brimming with tales of classroom adventures and new friends, she’s also prone to short-circuiting, just from holding it together all day, every day of the week.<!--more-->

So right now we're figuring out how to balance life after hours–that potentially treacherous zone between 3 p.m. and dinner, when anything can happen. When Night Owl first began pre-K, she was so exhausted after school that all she wanted to do was run straight home. Play dates? Forget it. We couldn't contemplate them until a few months in, and even those sometimes ended disastrously. But Leia is a different child from her sister and is asking for more activity after school.

And there's also the matter of the missing schoolyard. At PS 29, we are beyond fortunate to be getting a renovated schoolyard soon, but because construction was held up over the summer, the black top is currently a field of rubble. Some days, but not all, the pre-K kids are able to visit a nearby playground, or at least run around in the gymnasium. Leia's teacher is conscientious about working movement breaks into the day. But still, what we're often dealing with is after school moodiness coupled with raw, unbridled energy.

We signed up for a few classes before the school year started, so for the time being we're sticking to those. Am I overscheduling her? Perhaps. But the norm these days seems to be tons of activity after school, and many kids ask for it. I know plenty of working parents whose children attend after school programs every afternoon and do great (if only every school offered an extended day).

The reality of urban life is that we can't just turn our young kids out in the street after school to roam free, as I used to do in the suburbs. If you're looking for something more, check out the DOE website for links to public programs, as well as recent guides on Time Out New York and Mommy Poppins.