Not too long ago, the very phrase Gifted & Talented made me cringe, with its aura of specialness and superiority. When my older daughter, Night Owl (now 6) was in pre-K, the option wasn’t even on our radar; we were too busy trying to figure out a few kinks with her that, as it turned out, added up to a learning disability. Night Owl detested anything that smacked of testing, taking a distract-and-evade approach each time she felt examined; the process would have been painful for her, and unfair.

Enter the second child. As any parent of multiple kids knows, you can pretty much count on being thrown for a loop by the second–just when you thought you had it all figured out with the first.

Night Owl’s younger sister, Leia, has always been precocious, teaching herself skills before it occurred to us she might be ready. Before she turned four, she had figured out how to read, just by eavesdropping while we worked with her sister. She loves to be quizzed and to master new skills. But I refused to let testing for a gifted & talented program enter my mind. We have an excellent school, PS 29, right across the street, one that has been a wonderful community, a place of growth for both girls, and the source of many friendships. For the most part, children of all abilities receive rich learning experiences; I know parents who have transferred their children out of gifted and talented programs and into PS 29 (which doesn't have one.)<!--more-->

But on parent-teacher conference night, her teacher planted a seed: “You know, the neighborhood’s getting crowded and middle school admission has become so tough. Have you considered gifted and talented testing for her?” I nodded and said we would think about it.

“So, are we?” My husband asked. My first reaction was to say no, and then I reconsidered. After all we had gone through with Night Owl to find the setting that was the best fit for her, why wouldn’t we look into every possible option for our other daughter? I began to feel guilty not exploring all the possibilities.

Leia’s school is great, but yes: the neighborhood is getting more crowded, with big condo buildings going up blocks away. As a parent, I torture myself with “what ifs”: What if the school becomes too crowded? What if she gets thrown into an unmanageable class one year? What if the regular curriculum is not rigorous enough?

At the last possible moment, I signed her up; she'll be taking the test this month. As for my attitude about G&T programs, the verdict's still out, as I have yet to set foot into one of them. I agree with Elementary Dad that G&T can be a  “rescue rope that hoists bright kids out of insufficiently stimulating schools. " We probably don't need such a life line and she may not qualify at all. If she doesn't, I'll be secretly relieved not to have to think about busing. But if she does, we'll do our research, peek through the newly opened doors, and take it from there.