Dear Judy,

My middle school son tapped on the shoulder of a girl sitting in front of him, but she thought it was someone else and pushed that kid. The teacher sentenced all of them to detention. I think my son was unfairly punished, but what bothers me most is that the detention is on Saturday. Is it legal to hold Saturday detention? And if so, will there be lunch?

Upset

Dear Upset,

Your question convinces me that the school is failing in its obligation to communicate with parents.

If you look at the Department of Education’s Discipline Code, you will find that in school detention is listed as one of the possible disciplinary responses allowed, depending on the grade and infraction. In middle school, it is definitely sanctioned for disturbing the classroom peace and according to Marge Feinberg, spokesperson for the Department of Education, "Arranging detentions is up to principals."

Each school has, or should have, its own code of conduct which is distributed to parents at the start of the school year. Some schools ask parents to sign contracts in which they agree to the school rules and requirements. Some schools just pass along the official document. In any case, you should have been informed of possible Saturday detention at the beginning of the term. Of course, if there is a religious reason for not sending him on Saturday, you can exercise that right, although he will have to make up the punishment another time.The school should provide Saturday lunch -- kids can’t be deprived of lunch as a punishment -- but I would send along a sandwich in case the school is remiss.

As far as the unfair punishment goes, it’s hard for a teacher, to figure out just what happened when she sees kids in a fight. It happens all the time in families with more than one child, parents just blame both for the altercation. But, it does sound like a harsh punishment for a minor incident, and that makes me think that the teacher is either a stickler for good behavior, or that there's a history of such fights in that classroom. Here’s another instance of failure to communicate. I think you should try to work on improving that, or you and your son are in for a tough year.

Judy