When someone asked me what high schools I might be thinking about for my 7th-grader recently, my answer came swiftly and might have sounded a bit snippy.

"I’m not thinking about it at all," I said, which of course, isn’t true, much as I’d like it to be, since it feels like we just got him happily settled in middle school.

It is a fact of life for New York City parents: You are always thinking about schools, from pre-school (which can be a grueling ritual of its own) until high school graduation, when the focus shifts to paying for college.<!--more-->

Finding the right school requires vision, organization, and a plan, a painful concept for those who enjoy at least the illusion of casually stumbling through life and hoping for the best. As anyone who is searching for a middle or high school for their child knows, a laissez-faire attitude is not possible. The process is a lot of work. Tours, tests, lists, and strategizing all are all part of the game. Supply simply does not meet demand.

Last year, more than 7,000 New York City public high school applicants were stranded and in limbo; during the middle school search two years ago several of my son’s friends were initially shut out as well, although they ultimately got into the school of their choice.

On top of these known facts, the search takes place a full year ahead of time. That means you must imagine your little hand-holding elementary school student riding the subway alone and carrying a giant backpack up six flights of middle school stairs, alongside some tall, well developed teenage boys with deep voices and facial hair, and girls wearing make-up and revealing outfits.

You find yourself thinking about high school well before your child is physically or psychologically ready, although sometimes it’s just the parents who aren’t ready.

My older son rebelled during middle school tours in fifth grade because he felt all the students "were giants;" my youngest got a headache on every tour and came back adamant about not wanting to leave his elementary school. As a parent, I felt an enormous amount of academic time was lost during both fifth and eighth grade. The way the system is set up, kids miss hours and hours of class time to visit schools and parents have to re-arrange work schedules.

The price of choice is high, and since I know what is coming my way next year, of course I don’t even want to discuss high schools yet – that is, unless anyone has a tip on a fantastic, under-the-radar choice in an easily accessible Manhattan neighborhood?

Insideschools sympathizes with those of you who are missing mornings of work and spending evenings searching for middle and high schools now.  Do you feel the tours give you a chance to really think about what kind of education you want for your child? Are there enough good choices? Does your child feel overwhelmed and confused by the visits, the rankings and the entrance exams? Do you think the city and the Department of Education should set up a different system?

Any ideas on how it might work?