There’s a middle school scene my youngest child will never forget. On the day when eighth-graders received decisions about who got into the city’s nine specialized high schools, the sounds of sobbing reverberated through the hallways. While plenty of students got good news, others experienced the sting of disappointment in the company of supportive friends and school officials.

He was devastated and taken aback by the tears. The idea of public rejection and of having to go through a search process all over again seemed particularly painful to a sensitive sixth-grader, who had just finished touring and ranking middle schools and was trying to settle in.

Two years later, it’s his turn. Offer letters came out today, and some schools called all students awaiting word into a guidance office, and allowed them to open up the envelopes together. Roughly 6,000 eighth-graders got offers to these elite schools.

Students at my son’s middle school will not get their results today, because school officials decided to no longer break the news to them personally. In a letter home, the school noted how stressful this time can be for students.

“Some will receive splendid news, and others will be very disappointed with their results,’’ the letter noted.  “It's very important for parents to open the letters with their children and also to have a conversation with them about the next steps.’’

The letter also offered some comfort: “If your child receives disappointing news, remind them that this does not mean they haven’t been matched to a school at all, it just means that they will find out about their match in March.  It always works out in some shape or form, and it is important to remind our children of this.  If we remain calm and optimistic, so will our kids.”

I thought that was tremendous advice, even though some parents pushed hard for an immediate answer. Because different schools have different ways of giving the news out, some kids found out today. Others may get letters on Saturday or not until next week. The news, meanwhile, will trickle out via Facebook, Twitter and other social media networks.

Insideschools.org is interested to hear from parents – and students – on the best way to get – and handle the news. How is it going in your child’s middle school? Is it better for kids to open the letters together or wait and get it at home?