It’s hard to imagine that after all the tests, the tryouts, the rankings and the pressure to get into one of New York City’s best public high schools that it sometimes doesn’t work out as planned.

Not everyone will get their first, second or even their third choice by the time the matches are made in March, but that’s not what the current crop of eighth-graders are thinking about right now.

Most of the conversation is about getting in – mixed in of course, with the usual talk about about Halo, World of Warcraft, who-likes- who, the demise of the New York Yankees,  and the best  bands.

I can’t believe how much the many 13-year-olds I know are discussing their averages, their essays, and the answers they couldn’t answer correctly on the specialized high school exam this weekend.

On top of that, they are trying to figure out which teacher to ask for a letter of recommendation, while preparing portfolios, prepping for auditions and of course, missing many hours of school for tours.

Who wouldn’t want a happy ending after all of that?<!--more-->

Lately, though, I’ve been hearing from a lot of freshmen and sophomore parents and kids who simply aren’t satisfied with their match, even though the school year is less than two months old. It can present a huge stress after the enormous energy invested into the choice process. It would be callous indeed to want anything other than happiness and success for your child.

And yet  complaints – founded or unfounded – come from a huge range of kids and schools, including some of the most popular and coveted in the city. Baruch College Campus High School "isn’t social enough," for example. Francis Lewis is too crowded. Bard is "too difficult" or "doesn’t have enough boys." Same goes for highly regarded Townsend Harris or Eleanor Roosevelt.

LaGuardia "has too many tests," and the 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. school day is "way too long." And always, there are would-be singers, actors, dancers, artists and musicians who find that devoting so many hours a day to both academics and the arts is draining and more difficult than they had imagined. Some freshmen report "feeling lost" and overwhelmed by "large classes and the rapid fire style" of some teachers at Stuyvesant.

Others might be overwhelmed by a much longer commute than anticipated, or are having difficulty meeting and making friends.

It’s extremely hard for parents of freshmen (and would-be freshmen) to sort out all these conflicting rumors and opinions, which can be true for some kids and not for others. It’s especially hard to hear if all of your focus has been geared toward getting in --  not toward getting comfortable.

Adjustment to high school takes time – happiness and comfort level isn’t always instant. Ask most people to describe their experience in high school. Was it truly the best of times? Should it be?

Nonetheless, there can be some serious issues to confront if a child is truly unhappy with a choice, and the match doesn’t seem to match. Transfers aren't easy to come by, as we learned in a recent Ask Judy column.

That’s why Insideschools.org would like to hear from students, parents whose kids are struggling in their freshman year, and from those who have successfully negotiated a transfer.

Anyone argue for sticking it out and allowing adjustment to gradually take place? Does anyone have advice about how and when to transfer vs making the best of a situation?

Is it better to teach children that there is an eraser on every pencil, or is there value to truly making the best of a situation, no matter how difficult? Who is the best person in the school to turn to? At what point is sticking it out not a viable option?